Thursday, May 24, 2007

"I can't sing and perform these robotic dance moves at the same time"

This is what songwriter Kara Dioguardi recently had to say about her upcoming collaboration with pop princess Britney Spears:

"People don't realize what a good singer she is, and she has the incredible ability to put herself in the music and it elevates the song, because she really brings her own vibe to it.

Wait a minute. "Good singer"? What singing?? Does Britney actually sing? If you watch any of Britney's concerts specials, you will know that she lip-synchs approximately 95% of the concert while performing robotic dance moves, and sings live for the remaning 5%, usually singing some wispy ballad with her equally wispy live vocals. And even when Britney's attempting to sing live, her back-up singers easily overpower her.

There has been so much hype for Britney's supposed "comeback". She's giving "special, surprise concerts" across America, yet the first comment about these engagements is usually "she lip-synched most of it."

And at a recent House of Blues performance, Britney's backing record started to... skip. Surprised? Hardly. It was only a matter of time for that to occur.

Hasn't Britney learned anything at all after her recent trials and tribulations? Is she not able to channel her obvious inner turmoil into some serious singing? Perhaps the pop princess should take props from the Queen herself -- Madonna. Okay, so Madge is not exactly Maria Callas, but at least Madonna sings live for most of her show, and over the years, her voice has improved.

No wonder the music business is in such a bad state; we don't have many singers who can actually sing. When will Britney ever learn to sing live? She's going to need to sing for her supper now that record sales are becoming obsolete. Touring is how singers will need to earn their money, because record sales will not pay for their mansions and manicures. And nobody's going to pay $100 to see Britney mime her record.

Speaking of pop princesses, can I just say how fabulous Kylie Minogue's advertisement for her new H&M-Kylie line is? If you want to see it, you can check it out during the previews for Spider-Man 3. After a hectic few years, which included surviving breast cancer, and breaking up with yummy Oliver Martinez, Kylie's definitely back.

Kylie looks smashing, and at 38, she can still pour herself into a bikini. I'm sure there will be lots of comparisons to Madonna's own H&M line, and I must say, Kylie's line looks like it could be the true winner, and perhaps outsell M's line. The ads and promotions for Kylie's line are far superior to those M had, which I admit were pretty dull (Love you, Madonna, but you never seemed too committed to that line). Whatever the case, it's just great to see Kylie back (still loving that hair).

And for the record, Kylie is a pop princess who actually does SING.