Riverdance

I've seen the Riverdance special on PBS. It's entertaining... for about five minutes.

Seeing it with a 905-er audience at the Canon Theatre, it's hell for two hours. And unlike PBS, you cannot switch the station; you are a prisoner. The only good thing I can say about the show is that my ticket was free of charge.

Riverdance is faux-Irish dancing and I hope it doesn't give the impression that this is the "culture" of the Irish. Because if it is, I now understand why drinking is so popular in Ireland. 'Cause I seriously wanted/needed a drink watching this show.

Basically, Riverdance is "Irish dancing" (if you can call it that) with really boring interludes of a faux-Spanish dancer, a bad Enya impersonator, and lame narration that seems borrowed from the live-action Transformers movie.

Some of the dancing is impressive. But people in the audience reacted like this was the first time they saw feet move in coordination. The people behind us were literally having orgasms. This was obviously their first time outside of Acton.

The "star" of Riverdance is some bearded guy with an attachment to wearing shiny outfits that look like they belonged in the '80s/early '90s. He did the same move over and over and over again, yet the audience gave him a rousing ovation after each "solo." Speaking of ovations, these Riverdancers would not leave the stage. I had to sit through (endure) no less than six curtain calls because the Riverdancers needed applause for each dancer, and then five ovations for the main stars.

Throughout the evening, as the dancers clogged and tapped across the stage, I thought of my friend Rachel inviting me to see Sugarland. Yes, I would rather have seen a country music concert than watch Riverdance. I would rather have attended a Toby Keith concert than watch this crap. Then I thought of my other friend, Karen, who had invited me to see Dance Flick. Yes, I would rather have watched a Wayans Brothers movie than watch Riverdance.

After the show mercifully ended, my friend Maria sent me a text message saying how fabulous the revival of West Side Story on Broadway was. This enraged me so much I thought of putting a curse on Maria a la Drag Me To Hell ("You shamed me!"), but relented as I realized it was probably a childhood dream of Maria's to watch WSS on Broadway, bringing her back to the days when she would imagine herself as Anita...

Final verdict: I would rather watch "High School Musical on Ice" (which I have seen) than sit through the horror of Riverdance again.